scream

http://www.jenniferhawthorne.com/articles/change_your_thoughts.html = check it out . Its true = if its a negative tho8 - recognize it & ignore it. If its a positive thought hold on to it  like gold dust ! Act on it ! I am trying to. INstead of saying I wont junk out tonight say I will eat reasonable tonight , over and over again = it works.

Today I awoke , & decided  Ive come full circle in everything = try that , dont that  etc etc . Decided to start afresh, keep the good out with the poor..! I set my cooking timer or 10 minutes ( i have a little clock by my bed) & JUMped Rope for 10 minutes = same about 3-400 turns , was better, less stops this is my second wk & at the end of it I am breathless. People make sure u stretch out or legs will feel stiff.

Last night just before bed , I did 60 crunches, 40 sit ups, 30 back arm sit up ( cant remember the name ), 30 leg raises & also tried a hand stand - stage 1 nearly there. It felt good.

Lots of thoughts felt lousy = one of the 80% bummer thoughts - f them. I will concentrate on the positive like, ppl I know care, r just busy or stuck inthere own 80% of lousy thoughts.

I will get out of this rut, act more productive, enjoy more. I also asked god for blessing - sign of desperation - yeah , i’m not afraid to admit it. Its true, while i have a roof over my head, food on my table, ppl who care, laughs here and there = it just doesnt seem to be enough. AM I  being self pitiful or even in this train of thought self-gratifying. I dont know - i think of the bleak , ppl living in wars, or poverty - real - poverty to tell myself I am blessed =  problem is where i live - i am pretty much at the top of the bottom of ’successful’ stakes & i can seem to escape it . Escape what - measuring myself against it, knowing I have fallen way short of my potential. Im struggling to start again - and thats why im not satisfied happy- does this not make sense. Why would it its recurring tho8s that haunt my head not yours.

wish u all well - who ever reads this .x